Thursday, November 3, 2016

Don't Call the Police, it's normal.

Two words:  My garage.  It is so ridiculous right now.  I mean if I didn't have any pride I could post a jaw dropping pic for you but I do have a little pride so I'm not going to.  I will say I can park my suburban XL in there but once I do you have to shimmy and jump to get in the house.  I'm pretty awesome at it since I practice everyday.  You would think that at some point I would stop and think.  Hey, if I move this crib that is leaning against some chairs, that is leaning against some totes, that is leaning against some rusty bikes (relax, this isn't a memory test), that is leaning against my freezer then I probably wouldn't trip on it three times a day.  But, no.  I trip, and pretend curse (or actually curse depending on how much sleep I got the night before) and I just keep on keeping on.  Because I'm awesome like that and I'm secretly training for a future "Mom Ninja Warrior" show that I'm sure someone is going to produce.

I heard this true story about a family that left to go somewhere.  To make it more interesting, let's pretend they went to the fair.  And when they got back (from the fair) their house had been caution taped off as a crime scene.  Because, get this, after they left -- their "helpful" neighbor saw that their door was left ajar.  He peeked in to make sure all was well and was planning on closing the door and go on his merry way.  After he peeked in though he knew that their house had been burglarized.  Because it was "ransacked."  He immediately called the police because his fair-going neighbors had been broken into.   Much to the horror of all involved the house was not in actuality "ransacked" just a deeeesaster.  I snort laughed when I heard this because it was just a little too close to home ya know?  All I'm getting at is, I'm ready to make some changes around here.

I know change is possible.  Case in point.  I used to be a messy car person.  I hated it and complained to people about it but then I got a new car (the aforementioned Suburban) and I was bound and determined to be a clean car person.  And guess what?  I'm doing a pretty dang good job.  Do I have to clean it up everyday?  Yep.  Do I have to vacuum it regularly? You betcha.  Does it make me happy to get in and drive a lovely clean car.  You better believe it!  It's also nice when a friend needs a ride home to not have to rush out ahead of them to grab every half eaten piece of crusty pizza and throw it in the trunk.   I'm finally a normal person.  Kind of.

Anyway, I digress from my point.  How on earth do I get my kids to start helping with house cleaning?  I'm desperate. They will do a job or two after I ask them a bajillion times, and then they do the crappiest job at it (sorry kids but it's true, I love you but, you are not good cleaners)  I'll take all the advice I can get.  Oh, and when I try to show them how to do it they yell and scream that they already know how! I'll help them clean their room.  I'm talking, deep clean, every scrunched up pair of undies that are stuffed under the bed, each drawer wiped out, all the clothes folded in the "tidying up" way and before the day is through things are starting to gather again in the corners.  Someone tell me their magic cure-all.  We don't want neighbors to call the police on our "ransacked" house.

I go through stages.  If there's a week where I don't have PTA meetings, a dentist appointment, soccer practice and game, two basketball practices, three dance practices, gymnastics, back to school night, lunch out with my friends, a hair appointment then I spend every waking minute cleaning and organizing. Those weeks where it's less chaotic I clean non-stop and my house looks pretty dang good.  Inevitably though I do have things I have to do and that's when it gets sketchy.  As soon as I stop cleaning the whole thing hits the fan and we're back to the "burglarized" house.

I've read a few ideas that I'm wanting to implement such as, "minimalism" etc but I guess I'm not desperate enough yet.  AKA, I've yet to have the police show up to my "burglarized" house.  

In other news, Halloween is over and I'm kind of happy about it.  It's a bit exhausting getting everyone in their costumes 5 different times.  I like Halloween but I'm happy it's only once a year.  I guess I better go pick up 45 candy wrappers. 


  1. Oh. My. Gosh! I just KNOW this will happen to me at some point. I'm totally going to get called on as having a burglarized house. So I had IKEA come look at my house take pictures, etc. I told them they could go in any other room but my bedroom because it's the catch all and looks really bad. One day I will get this under control and finish decorating. I literally do not understand how women with more than two kids keep their house clean. I try following the kids around cleaning up and seriously feel insane by the end of the day.

    For a while my kids were doing well at jobs. Part of it was because they had the same jobs they did each week, but then we went on a trip, came back sick and yep, it never has been the same. So good luck!

    1. I don't know how but I'm just seeing this comment. You had IKEA come take pics at your house? That's cool/stressful! What for? How did it go?