Monday, May 8, 2017

A Short FICTIONAL Story for You...

All characters and events are fiction.  Any thing that resembles a real life person is pure coincidence.

Once upon a time there was a mom of five who recklessly booked a trip to Pennsylvania to see her brother and sister-in-law.  She was very excited and looking forward to the trip in so many ways but she was also freaking out inside because well, the term attachment parenting, that word was made-up to describe her parenting style.  She's the lady who carries her infant bouncer into the bathroom so she can watch them breath while she brushes her teeth.  She writes down every oz of medicine, the exact time 7:13 and 3 seconds, and will not give the medicine one second before it is due.  She carries cups of water into her kids in bed to make sure they have plenty of fluids in their little bodies.  She locks the doors every night and then wakes up at least once a night to check the doors to make sure they are still locked.  She also walks into every room and checks on her precious sleeping babes, pulling up blankets etc.  She is the epitome of an attached parent.

If she hears any sound that resembles a cry for help she will "shush" the entire house, rush about inside and out to help the poor child in need which usually turns out to be a screaming-for-joy child on the trampoline.

As the trip has neared she has been stressing, and breathing, and "calenderizing", and carpool setting upping, and packing, and note taking, and breathing some more, and pep-talking herself, and asking her husband questions like, "on a scale of 1-10 how worried are you about covering everything while I'm gone?" His calm response,  "I know this is going to annoy you but a 0, I'm not at all worried, everything is going to be great."  "UGH.  you're so unrealistically optimistic and yes, it is annoying that I have to do all the worrying." 

Now that her flight is hours away she is in panic mode.  Thinking of frightening scenarios that she is going to be needed to save the day for.  She is racked with worry and wondering if maybe she should cancel the flight and just eat the loss.  She thinks of all her instagram friends who seem to constantly be on exotic vacations sans kiddos and seem to be having the time of their lives and wonders, "Who is taking care of their kids folder signing and breakfast getting?  Who is driving them to dance/baseball/soccer/cheer?  How are they so care free? Posting captions like, 'Never coming home' "  Her picture is going to be a red and swollen eyed lady at the airline ticket counter saying, "It's not too late fam, should I just come back home? " 

It's funny because her kids know her so well.  They are making her promise not to text constantly to check in on them.  They are setting phone reminders to check the locked doors, and give the baby plenty of drinks, (dehydration is a serious threat) And they are promising to help curl hair, and keep everyone alive while she's gone.

She in turn promises to TRY to relax (is it really relaxing if you have to try?) and actually get on the airplane.


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