Sitting On My Own Blanket

I had to watch a "Ted Talk" to get the nerve to start this post.  LOL, ok really it was a serious of famous rich people giving mini quotes of "never give up!" and I felt inspired enough or guilty enough that my nap wasn't going well because I kept tossing and turning thinking "you have not even tried".  "You basically just give excuses for why it won't work".  And by try I mean writing.  I've had the inkling to start writing for a while now.  And by while, I mean about 22 years.  Even as I type each letter, the fear of rejection is sitting on my lap whistling a tune.  I've got so many excuses about why I can't; I could probably fill my first book with a run-on sentence full of layers of self-doubt.  What should I even write about?  People won't relate, people will write me hate mail because it's so bad.  I imagine myself wiping mascara off my cheeks while reading pages of mean comments amidst two empty bags of party size Cheetos and multiple extra large Symphony bar wrappers.  

Have you ever sat at the fireworks and needed just a little more blanket to keep the chills from inching over your arms?  You pull slightly at the edge to gain some footage but someone else is sitting on it.  And you pulled again, this time with more force and realized that the blanket is lodged and whoever is sitting on it is not giving way and you almost give up.  "You don't need more blanket that bad" you console yourself.  Then you realize that you are the one who is sitting on the blanket.  You are the only one who is in the way of getting more warmth and happiness during this breezy independence night.  That's me.  I'm sitting on my own blanket.  My own weight is a lot heavier than I thought.  I can't get it out from under myself.

It's stupid once you write it down.  Ridiculous.  Just rock to the other side or roll over.  It's not that hard now is it? So here I am I'm just diving over and ripping that blanket free.  And I'm hoping I can encourage some of you new friends along the way.  Whatever you are holding back on. just stop.  STOP reading right now.  Walk away from the computer desk, phone, tablet, and get a piece of paper and pen.  Write down what it is you want to do and start today!  Let me know what it is in the comment section and we can encourage one another along the way.


XOXO,
Kell